I had to ask myself these questions when I got up this morning:

1. Do you still want to be a professor at Hogwart's Online?

2. Do you still want to beta read and cheerlead for the SBBBB?

3. Do you still want to belong to Deviant Art?

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I gave the following answers:

1. Yes

2. Yes

3. Yes

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So what is causing my lack of motivation?

1. Stress and fatigue from work

2. Stress and fatigue from depression

3. Stress and fatigue from feelings of failure, feelings of a lack of accomplishment

4. Stress and fatigue from feeling like no one cares anyway, so why should I bother?

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So what do I do now?

1. Finish rebuilding the lessons for Hogwart's Online that got destroyed. Stop feeling like it can't be done. Stop crying and whining that circumstances beyond my control made the first lessons disappear. Contact all the DA artists who have loaned me their artwork in the past and beg for forgiveness. Start paying attention to my students and people on DA more. Now. Not after breakfast. Not after a nap. Not after my headache subsides. Now.

2. Well, SBBBB and I are a lost cause by now. I don't think the two people I was cheerleading for think that I still want to cheerlead for them, and the person I was beta reading for has been giving her work to all of her friends to read, so I guess I'm out of the picture. My epic fanfic still resides in my head after all these years, and it will not materialize by the November 15 deadline. I just need to accept the fact that I screwed up and move on.

3. My DA membership hasn't expired yet. I like it here. No, I love it here. I watch a large number of people, so my Deviant Watch gets huge. It appears it was about six weeks since my last visit here. I had 195 deviations waiting for me. I'm not so sure that was all of them. I think maybe DA starts disposing of undisposed/unfaved deviations after 195...... I am supposed to be helping and with their clubs, and I haven't been. Uh oh......... Time to get off my a$$ like right now.